“Home for the Holidays” conjures up many thoughts ranging from the comforting memories, sights, tastes, and smells of reunited families at the holiday dinner table to the title of the humorous 1995 movie directed by Jodi Foster, describing the antics of a multigenerational dysfunctional family. Modern society’s stresses, now with the additional complications brought on by COVID-19 variants, make enjoying family connections even more essential for good mental health and well-being.
Holidays are times for bonding. Children learn innumerable lessons as they play with cousins, observe interactions among older generations, and hear stories about the past. Belonging is an important behavioral feature. Families create values and sustain a culture, filling a void that otherwise could be corrupted by bad influences.
Family traditions strengthen ties and can promote positive behaviors.
Communication skills nurtured during good times will help when the going gets rough, and surely it will. Demonstrating friendship skills within a family will teach the next generation how best to network with peers now in school and later at work.
Teaching children right from wrong at family gatherings helps prevent other less worthy influences outside the home. Talking, listening, and sharing feelings help all generations understand each other better. Similarly, showing affection creates warm relationships which are passed onward and have a positive effect on schoolwork and life in general. Who wants to live with a sourpuss?
The quality of family life from infancy through adolescence and adulthood has a profoundly positive effect on both the children and parents. “The Long Reach of Nurturing Family Environments: Links With Midlife Emotion-Regulatory Styles and Late-Life Security in Intimate Relationships” is a 2016 paper in Psychological Science documenting the importance of multigeneration nurturing. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and other milestone celebrations are important recurring events for all generations; anticipating, enjoying, and subsequently “mourning” their ends are normal. The warmth of children’s family environments predicts greater security of attachment to intimate partners in later life.
No family is perfect or without problems, but having support during both good and difficult times moderates potential stresses. Family members are people to whom you should turn. Realistically, though, not everyone has a close personal family. When the traditional family is unavailable for whatever reason, choosing alternatives can boost your emotional well-being. Successfully creating a “family” by reaching out to other people who are not blood relatives but can substitute as best friends works well. Leaning on them as situations require and sharing in general build a warm support system. In fact, sometimes these organically created relationships can avoid some of the baggage that comes with blood relatives.
Having “all the birds back in the nest” recognizes there is no better sleep for a mom than when all the kids are under the same roof—a thought shared by Diane Sohn, a friend, colleague, and mom of young adults—is so true. We all feel good when everyone we love is safe and sound.
Best wishes from the Blue Zones Project team for a healthy and happy holiday season with family and friends.
