Human interaction is essential for well-being. Over millennia, survival depended upon successful socialization. Hunting, gathering, reproducing, creating, and all essential activities for thriving as a person, family, tribe, or civilization depended upon good communication skills. These abilities evolved traditionally from a few grunts to drawings, words, and written language. A giant step, mostly forward, now includes digital communication with social media greatly magnifying reach.
As interaction became more sophisticated, survival rates improved for those who could both compose and send a message as well as understand and react to a communication. The ability to cooperate had a major survival benefit, so having our brains programmed to be influenced by those around us became a good attribute. However, hanging around negative or toxic people sharing disinformation or harmful thoughts had the opposite effect.
Nowadays, family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors affect individuals’ physiology and brain functioning. Everything from “group think” to similar body language and even synchronized breathing can be observed in people who are closely connected.
Physical and emotional themes sweep through an audience as individuals react to a charismatic speaker or an exciting sports event. The physiological mediators released in each observer are similar. Breathing patterns and even heart rates synchronize. Smaller, more connected groups show these effects more profoundly. Connected couples can converse with just a glance. Hand holding, another example, is a richer connection than one might imagine as pain can be measurably lessened by just touch. Young children or partners find holding hands comforting for each other, as their moods and physiology synchronize.
Disconnecting has serious effects. Loneliness kills, perhaps shaving years from life. Solitary confinement or ostracism are two forms of non-corporal punishment. Sadly, long-married couples experience a much higher rate of mortality in the surviving spouse when the first one dies. Less profound but similar losses are felt by break-ups among dating couples or even divorcees, assuming a pre-existing relationship once existed.
Kind words are affirming whereas hateful expressions create rage. Humans nervous systems are programmed to respond to words. The word processing regions of the brain are interconnected with physiological functions including heart and breathing rates, temperature regulation, and overall alertness. Picture a kind, loving person speaking softly and affectionally versus a loud-mouth boor shouting insults—how differently our bodies would respond. Over eons, these responses became adaptive and helped with survival. But too much noisy, aggravating rhetoric long-term is not healthy.
Recognizing and understanding how our words and gestures affect us will help us live longer, happier, and healthier lives.